I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You can't motorboat a personality
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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