420 ftw
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
