I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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