Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
