Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
