you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
