So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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