I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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