Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
