Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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