So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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