oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
