Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
