I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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