If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
