remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
