Your dad touched me again.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's get the cat blown out
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
