His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
