Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
