My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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