Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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