Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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