I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
