You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
