I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
