I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
