I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
