I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
