bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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