is your mom at the bar?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
