No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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