when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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