getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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