Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
