Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
