If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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