You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
