Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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