the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
