I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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