In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
