we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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