Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
