I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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