In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
