My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
