Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
