i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
