oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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