He is an equal opportunity slut.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
