Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
