i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
